I love my in laws

 I know most of you married people are thinking, “You like your in laws, you get along with them, or you can spend more than five minutes in the same room with them before going crazy?”  The answer is yes to them all. I am a very blessed girl (at 27 I don’t feel I am more than that) I truly enjoy my in laws, my second set of parents if you will.

We always got along, at least I think so, we “dated “(high school sweet hearts) for three years before we got engaged, and four before we got married.  At least for me I always enjoyed their company, as much as a teenage can enjoy an adults company. As I grew so did my love for not only my now husband but for his family. Everyone talks about their “in-laws” as their spouse’s parents and siblings, I include all his family. And I can say honestly we all get along, that I enjoy spending time with them all.

Once my husband joined the Coast Guard my relationship with his parents changed, he made sure of that. It went from “I am your sons girlfriend” to “pre engaged”. His parents and I missed him while he was in basic, I would go over at least once a week for dinner, and twice a week just to hang out. My husband would send his mother and me on shopping trips to get what he needed.

The first trip I took with his parents was to get him from basic training, his father wouldn’t let me by a plane ticket when they were driving up and there was no way my parents would let me drive myself. So it was set, we would drive the NINE hours to New Jersey. It was a great trip and a real bonding experience with just his parents; it also made me realize that even though I loved the hubs, I could marry him without regrets. I knew I was going to have AWESOME in-laws.

Over the next three years, I took more trips with his parents, to visit my other in laws. With all of my newly extended family, I have always been made to feel comfortable. My favorite moment with his extended family is when I “dared” to venture to a family reunion myself while he was gone. His parents were hosting and asked if I could come and help. Loving his family I did. His great uncle (who is a favorite family member) came up to me gave me a great big hug and said “I guess I am getting a real pretty, great niece-in-law. “ He later told me that all the men of the family were talking about how brave I was for showing up without the soon to be hubs. It was that moment that I was “accepted” into the family.

When my husband I and I got married, we had a pastor who taught our youth group going to officiate. Less than a month before the wedding he informed the church he was leaving, moving to another state and would not be in town. I was heartbroken, who would marry us? All of the pastors we grew up with were gone. My husband’s uncle, a non-practicing pastor offered to step in and officiate for us. It wasn’t a question; we knew that this should have been the way it should have been all along.

Five years later his parents and I still get along GREAT! Every year for Thanksgiving they come up the day before and spend thanksgiving with just me, the hubs always ending up having to work it’s almost a tradition now. Then we have a huge Thanksgiving fest when the hubs gets home. We have also spent many holidays together with my parents, all together staying under one roof. (The trick is a bathroom for each couple and an extra just in case.) We have even had celebrations with my brother-in-laws family, all three families in the same house, coming together to celebrate life’s most joyous occasions, with no fighting, or having “the big pink elephant” in the room.

It’s a strange family dynamic, it might not be for everyone but I know that my family (in-laws and extended in-laws) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I highly suggest marring a person that you can spend time alone with their parents. It makes life so much easier to be able to celebrate all of life’s joys with everyone. 

I don’t want to be afraid.

I don’t want to fear for the lives of my children. It’s taken me this long to be able to even think about writing this. Since I heard about the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre, I haven’t wanted to take my babies anywhere. This is a busy time of year for my family so I have had to have them in public. It scares me.

My husband and I both went to public schools, preschool all way through our senior years, we had some scary moments but nothing came out of any of them, the worst was when experienced was maybe 10 bomb threats on test Fridays. All of them were hoaxes in order to get out of the test the callers didn’t study for. My mom (before I could drive) was always at the school as soon as we were released or if a family friend was closer she was there to get me and her children, I always wondered what scared my mom so much, then I became a parent.

When I heard what happened at Sandy Hook, I cried, held my babies (maybe against Lime’s will, he wanted to play) and I was glued to the TV. Later I talked to friends to make sure they knew what was happening and we talked about homeschooling our children for life. I don’t want to be afraid to send my children to school. A place where they should be safe and secure, a place where they should be able to go and learn, meet new people, and build the skills they need to survive in the world. It shouldn’t be a place where they are targets for a mental ill person.

We as parents, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, soon to be parents, or the maybe will become a parent later in life, need to make mental illness a real thing, not something we sweep under the rug.  We shouldn’t have to worry about someone coming into our children’s classrooms and do the unthinkable. If the man (I know his name, I am trying to forget and I don’t want his name to be out in the world more than it is) had the access to the doctors, medication, or treatments that he so clearly needed, the sentence that started with “20 children and 7 adults” would have ended so differently. Maybe it would have ended with “Had a great bake sale and raised 500 dollars for Make a Wish” a friend of mine said it best, it should NEVER end the way it did.

I know someone is thinking, “That’s great, let’s get mental illness out there, but what about gun laws?” Well to that I say, let’s make it harder to get guns, I don’t think every Jo Shomo should have access to semi-automatic- guns, but by making a few new laws to get a gun, won’t stop someone once they get a thought like that in their head. They will find other ways to get their point across.

 This nation needs to change a lot of things, we need to let go of the angry that everyone seems to be holding on to (even if you don’t realize you are) about the stupid little things, we need to be open and talk about mental illness, we need have better back ground checks for gun purchases and most importantly we need to forget the man’s name and keep those precious children who lost their lives in our hearts.

Now go hug your babies. 

Why I don’t like “you look so pretty”

So in other words, I am ugly.Think about it...Makes sense now right? If I LOOK pretty your saying I'm not. 

      I just realized this when a friend jokingly said “oh what I don’t look pretty all the time.” That statement really got me thinking. I was taught to see the good in every person, their inner beauty. I truly believe that every woman is beautiful in their own way.

      So many women have self-esteem issues because of growing up with these stick then models, the ones who look like a strong wind could blow them over. Now I am nowhere close to being “fat” another word I don’t like. I am a very moderate size; I am petite in stature a whole 5 foot 3 inches. I was also blessed with a small bone structure. I haven’t always been this self-assured. I always felt I was fat, in middle school I started counting calories, in high school I ate maybe once a day. There was a time that my mom made a deal with me; I wasn’t to weigh less than 115 pounds, just seeing that number makes me cringe. Not because it’s so much weight, but because I thought if I weighed 115 pounds I would be huge, that “I would be one of those morbidly obese people.”

      The only time that I have had a healthy-ish, diet, I should say the only time I have ate three meals a day for more than two weeks straight, is when I was pregnant. I had to for my babies, they needed the nutrients I couldn’t help my innocent babies if I didn’t do what I should have been doing for myself.  Even though I was eating, I was still watching what I put into my mouth (until the end and I wanted everything). I tried not to think about the weight I was gaining (25 with my first and 15 with my second) instead I focused on the baby in my belly.

      Food issues still plaque me daily, it’s taken me many years just to know that I am not big in any means. I am still working seeing myself as a pretty woman. This isn’t a "oh tell me how pretty I am I need to hear it", I don’t the hubs lets me know all the time he finds me beautiful and really that’s all that matters. I want all women and girls especially to know that they are pretty no matter what size, shape, or color. We need to build our daughters up to know they are beautiful and strong, that they can and should grow up and have a wonderful sense of who they are and not need to look at fashion magazines and think that because they aren’t stick thin they aren’t good enough. 
So instead of saying your look so pretty or beauiful, why don't you let me know that they ARE. Sometimes a woman's beauty is hiding and other times its shining, why are we the judge of when that is. 

I love gdiapers

 My husband came home the other day and while we were talking about how his day was he told me that he and the guys were talking about diapers. Yes, the same men that put others’ lives before their own and spend months away from their families at time talk about diapers and daddy duty. My husband busted out with “I have bought all the diapers my kids need, we do cloth.” I could not have been prouder.

Rewind, about two years when I told my husband that I wanted to use cloth diapers he looked at me like I had five heads all of which were on fire. It took me four months after Lime was born to finally convince him. It was a money thing with him; spending almost 150 dollars a month is insane! Especially when you can spend 200-300 dollars and not have to buy diapers again (for most even less)! (Not until, they come out with new prints and styles, then they really are needed) I was so excited to finally order my gdiapers sweet bundle and a package of the refills. I actually told my husband it’s what I wanted wait, it’s what I needed for my first mother’s day gift.

      My first reason to love any cloth diaper is I am not throwing money away; parents that use disposables are literally throwing 14-25 cents away with each diaper. The only money I am using with my diapers now is for laundry detergent. Which is MAYBE three dollars every 4 months, what parent using disposables can say that?

      I don’t even want to mention (but I will) the chemicals in the typical disposable diapers. Most of them I can’t pronounce. One of the biggest ones is Dioxins which have been known to cause skin reactions, altered liver function, and cause impairments to the immune system, nervous system, endocrine system and reproductive functions. That’s scary! The scariest part, parents are putting these on their babies! Lime, had a horrible diaper rash his first four months, and we weren’t even using the run of the mill diapers. As soon as we switched to the gdiapers his rash cleared up, a noticeable difference in 24 hours and completely gone in three days. Only to return when he is teething or drinks juice.

      Besides gdiapers being way cuter than normal diapers, you have to ask yourself. What would you rather wear, cotton underpants that breath or some plastic crap that crunches and makes noises every time you move? Enough said? I think so too.

My only con with cloth diapering is that gdiapers are way too cute and even though I do have an adequate number of diapers in my stash, but when they come out with their prints, just like the name says, it’s a printed diaper instead of just a solid color, or their style, which is a matching diaper and shirt or dress for a little girl. They also have separate prints and styles for boys and girls. I NEED those, but it’s hard to convince my husband of the need.

       

Fast forward a year and half later, I am still in love with my gdiapers. Get ready for it; my life has been made EASIER with cloth diapers. No more late night runs which is especially hard when your husband has duty and takes him away for 24 hours. No more worries if the diapers I am putting on my kids going to do serious damage later in life, only an hour or so less sleep at night or one.

      I could go on and on about how gdiapers are a company started with a young couple about to have their first baby, or their amazing truly amazing company, or that even though they making it big, they still are considered a “mom and pop” shop, or that they are making cloth diapering more accessible by having their products in the “big box” stores, or that other gmums are the most helpful cloth diapering mommas ever. I could go on about those but instead I will leave you with gdiapers philosophy Fair Dinkum is an Australian expression that means being genuine and real with everyone you encounter. Which is exactly what they do! 

Shameless plugs

     When my husband put in his wish list, our “couple” –you know the ones that you just click with, everyone gets along, you can take vacations together- joked that not to worry the next transfer season (when everyone moves) they would be right behind us, unless we moved out West. When we got our orders my husband and I told them that they wouldn’t be able to stay away, hence the start of our shameless plugs.

     I had no choice but to be friends with KM, both of our husbands pushed for it. They became friends at the station and thought it would be nice if everyone got along.  When we moved into our new condo, KM and I started hanging out and really enjoyed each other’s company. I got my mommy practice on her sweet little Rah Rah; I feel I became her second mommy. I didn’t fully come into her life until she was over a year old, but we had a great bond right away. I bribed her with food and she instantly loved me.

      Over the course of two years and two new babies, KM and I started Co-parenting. It was great; our kids became best friends and truly missed each other if they didn’t see each other every day. They day we moved, I told KM that I would see her in a year when her family moved out West, I would show her around the area, and the kids would stay with the guys while we went shopping.

      

When KM told me that the station here was open, I really pulled on her heart strings; I was 7 months pregnant and had a free pass.  I told her all the things Lime was doing, that even though she wouldn’t be able to meet Baby girl for a REALLLLY REALLLY long time she would still love her, I told her that Rah Rah, and Chubster really missed Lime. Rah Rah even got in on it, drew a map to Oregon, so they could find us.

      As a pregnant woman I wasn’t thinking straight, I was overly emotional and may have mentioned that they should let Rah Rah, chose where to live. That given a choice she would want to be here, how could they continue to break her little heart?  Thankfully KM understood and told me that she enjoyed my shameless plugs.  I don’t regret my shameless plugs, they have worked their way into the hearts of KM and her husband KR; so much in fact that even though they were dead set against moving out West again Oregon has made its way to their list.

      

As we are anxiously awaiting their orders I keep telling her my shameless plugs, I would even call the man in charge and tell him how it has to be. I do this with the best intentions of both families. This family has went from friends to family in such a short amount of time and if we can’t have our blood family close we want them here with us to celebrate all the joys of life. 

Rah Rah's map to Oregon, pretty awesome for a three year old of you ask me. 

Less than a month left...

      With less than a month left in a year that has been life changing, literally. It has made me look back. From January this year has been on super speed. Lime turned one, as we celebrated with friends as close as family and our blood family I couldn't help but wonder where we would be celebrating his second birthday and if he would have a little brother or sister there. A few months earlier my husband put in his “wish list” of sorts, all the places we wanted to go, topping the list Hawaii, North Carolina and other East Coast places to be within driving distances, and then there was Oregon.

      Knowing we should find out soon, made me fantasize about living in all the other places. The tropical seasons, living in a bathing suit, shorts, and tank tops, expanding my flip flop selection (those who know me, know I LOVE my flops), or would it be family dinners every week and free babysitting, with monthly weekend trips to see my family who live two hours from our new station, would it stay the same with bi monthly trips home and lots of family visits, or would we have rainy over cast weather and really let my hippie flag fly?

      Shortly after Lime’s first birthday we found out two semi-unexpected things. First, we found out that we would be having a baby before the year ended. A baby even when “trying” is always unexpected, at least for me. I know I was in denial before I found out I was pregnant. After having a miscarriage before I was pregnant with Lime, I didn't want to believe that I was actually pregnant again. Baby girl, though planned decided to happen sooner than expected who wants to move (no matter the distance) 5 almost 6 months pregnant? Second we found out that our new home would be Oregon, a place that I have always wanted to live, I couldn't believe it. I was in heaven, having another baby and later to find out that my bug as my father-in-law said, was my sweet baby girl. I didn't think of the hassles of moving, let alone driving cross country, yes driving.

      The drive wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. I thought the worst, I would be sick the whole time, too tired to drive, gain my whole pregnancy weight, end up harming my husband and leaving Lime in Utah. None of that happened though, close to leaving Lime with a close friend, but luckily she wasn't home and he ended up staying with us. (Only joking!). Our drive out was actually very pleasant, my husband talked about when his family drove out to move to Washington (I married an Army brat); I was amazed by each different state. Not driving anywhere west of Indiana, I was in somewhat of a shock, and I think Lime knew we were getting ready for an adventure and was just as excited as we were. It was a great family bonding time and even though I don’t want to move back to the East Coast for a long time, I am excited to drive back with Baby girl in tow.

      After we settled in, we were hit with some big exciting news; we were going to be an Aunt and Uncle! again. We have been blessed to have a sweet nephew from my brother and Sister-in-Law. We have been waiting almost pushing my Brother-in-law and his wife to have a baby. We want all the cousins to be close in age. After almost a year of “It’s your turn.” And “When are you going to have a baby?” My BIL called to share the news, and less than two weeks after bringing Baby girl home, we were able to Skype and she her off, see the baby bump, and one of the most exciting parts finding out that the new “bug” is going to be a girl!  

      I think I have the simplest pregnancies in the entire world, I am blissfully unaware of the problems I really have. With each pregnancy I have had gestational diabetes, each of my kiddos have tried to make their grand entrance at 34 weeks. Baby girl made it her mission to make her entrance before 40 weeks.  After a month and half of twice weekly non stress test and bed rest for almost two weeks and as much rest as possible for the rest of my pregnancy, Baby girl made her grand entrance at 37 weeks.

      Everyone says that a year changes everything. Most of the time, there are small changes sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. This year has been full of life changing moments. I am so excited to see what next year bring for my sweet family. Maybe a news of another niece or nephew ( hint hint) or having our best friends move out here (shameless plug-I will explain later), I can say I am positive that nothing will top this year with all of the life changing moments. 

a little about my life.

      I grew up in North Carolina. It really was a picturesque childhood with the “perfect family”, the father, the mother, the older son, and the younger daughter. (Why that makes it the perfect family I don’t know.) I love my family; I couldn't imagine a better childhood. My best friends living within walking distance and sleep overs with my very best friend every weekend. Not to mention parents that would give everything they have to make my brother's and my life the best possible. 

      My father joined the Army way before I was born, I grew up a military brat, I have never known the "civilian" lifestyle and from the time I can remember I swore I wouldn't marry a military man. Living by one of the largest Army bases, my mother asked what if I fell in love with someone who wanted to join. I told her point blank that I would tell them that it’s the military or me. I wouldn't do "that to my children" At the time I was serious .My father missed a lot, not by choice it was his duty. I knew that he loved me and if he could he would be right there. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that he was. He would write letters just to me or my brother, we would have adventures when he was home, and my favorite he would send flowers to me when I had something special going on at school. I am not saying these things wouldn't have happened if he had a 9-5 job. But because of his unusual work schedule we have a special relationship that nothing can break. I am still a daddy's girl and will always be. One that I didn't realize until my now husband told me he did wanted to "join". 

      My husband, my then high school sweet heart, told me that he wanted to join the Coast Guard after we had been dating (if you can really call it that in high school) for three years.  I was madly in love and knew he was going to be my husband and the father of my children one day. That day was September 15, 2007 (Apparently I didn't know anything about love when I was a kid. I couldn't imagine breaking up with him just because he felt the same way my father did, even if it was for a different branch of the military) shortly after I moved to Virginia to be with him.

      In May of 2010 I found out my life was going to change. I didn't know it, I felt it, but didn't really know that I was pregnant with my sweet little boy -lime. He was born in January 2011 after what I remember a very blissful pregnancy other than the last month or so. In March of 2012 I found out that I was “expecting “again. My sweet little girl- baby girl, was born October 2012. Yes it was planned.

      I am now living in Oregon, a place I have wanted to live ever since I watched “The Goonies” as a kid. 

Why?

      The question of why, why am I a mom? Why did I start a blog? Why is my domain Mommi instead of mommy or mom or any other form of mother?

   First, I am a mom because as sappy or “old fashioned” as it sounds I was born to be a mother. When I was a child I always wanted to be a mommy Technically a nurse first but only work for a few (2-3) years then become a stay a home mom. Yes, even as a young child I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom. Mostly because of the role model I had in my own mother. She is a fiercely independent woman who can take care of what she needs to when the time calls for it. My father being in the Army, in the special forces to be exact. She was a "single mother" many times, most of the times for months at a time.  I wanted to be just like her.  Well other than having a husband in the military, which I will talk about later. Which meant staying at home with my two children, a boy and then a girl (as fate would have it, I have my boy, lime, and my girl, Baby girl.)

      I started this blog because I have so many things that I want to share and I don’t think Facebook would be the best area.  For one, most people wouldn't want to read a “status “that is over 15 words. Let’s face is for FB a 15 word status might even be pushing it. People like to read “Coffee is my best friend” which was my status today in fact.

      My domain is Mommi   (pronounced Mom-I) because instead of the usually mommy or momma my sweet little Lime-a-kins calls me Mommi and my husband Me. He has such a great since of self that he doesn't need to call us mommy and daddy. Even though we have tried many times to have him call us by “the correct names” We love our son for this, I am not sure of any other parents with our names. 

      Now let’s hope I can actually have the time to keep up with this blog and have wonderfully funny or insightful things to post. With an almost two year old and almost two month old my life gets a little hectic.