I am reclaiming me.

       On any given day if you show up at my house unannounced I will have on my sweatpants that are getting a little too big, my husband’s shirt which is about 5 sizes too big, my hair pulled back mostly from the night before maybe washed maybe not, and most certainly no makeup. When I went out I would put on my one good pair of jeans and an old tee-shirt that I grabbed out of my dresser. I was stuck in the mommy rut.

      I want my children, especially Baby Girl, to know that just because you have children you shouldn’t disappear. I love my children more than anything, but I can’t let myself become only their mom. It’s taken four months for me to realize that I was slowly disappearing into being only Mommi to Lime and Baby Girl. I wasn’t my husband’s wife or the women who likes to do crafts and sew. All I felt like was Mommi; my days were consumed with potty training, feeding, and nap times and with the fun things (for the kiddos) in-between.

     With reclaiming me I am not saying that I am not a Mommi, I am saying that I love my children, they will ALWAYS come first, but I am still going to make time for myself. I am going “escape” to more places than just the grocery store, I will venture out with a good book, or most likely a gossip magazine and drink a coffee; if I’m lucky I will be with a friend instead and we can catch up. Now instead of changing out of my “home uniform” into my “going out” clothes I am going to take the time to not only make sure my children look their best, I am too. I will wear makeup, my hair will be styled, (I made sure of that by cutting off over 7 inches), my clothes will nice and spit of free, and once Baby Girl is out of her “I’m going to pull on everything, because I can” stage I will wear earrings and a necklace. I will have times that I will allow myself to wear my sweats; it will not be an all-day event.

      I will finally take the time to make time for myself.  

Homemade

     As I just put my homemade lasagna with my homemade pasta sauce in the oven, I started thinking that this isn't normal in every home.

       I choose to make 90% of my meals myself. I don’t like not knowing what exactly is in my food. Yes, it takes more time to make a meal from scratch. However knowing what exactly I am eating and putting into the bodies of my children and husband is a wonderful feeling. Besides it tastes so much better. I am not saying that I made the noodles and processed the cheese. I would like to learn how to make my own noodles maybe when the kiddos are older.  

      Before I got pregnant my husband and I ate six things, Tacos with a bag mix of seasoning, pizza which was frozen, stir fry from a bag, some type of pasta, chicken and broccoli casserole, some type of baked chicken and mac and cheese.  Things got very bland and we were gaining weight faster than I would have liked. I changed things up and instead of going to the freezer selections I did a little research and learned that I can make my own “freezer meals”, pizza crust, even  taco seasonings. This changed my life and waist line. I have always enjoyed cooking and why not make things fresh; I was confused as to why I NEVER thought of doing this before I got pregnant. Maybe it was because I was “baking” a new life or that I could barely eat anything, either way I’m glad I did.

      So I started cooking homemade meals and the hubs and I both started to feel better and enjoyed eating our meals, they weren’t loaded with salt, or sugar, or foods that we would pick around. They were tailored to what we liked to eat, not the masses. It’s nice to know that NO food is gone to waste, unless our eyes are bigger than our stomachs.  I also found that with a little practice that foods don’t have to take longer than what “convenient boxed/bags” foods do, at least not much longer. I make an amazing, (yes I feel confident to say amazing) bacon mac and cheese. Made with fresh cheeses, (three) bacon, green onions, and some noodles. Guess what it takes 30 minutes and ONE pot. No draining needed.

      When it was time to think about food for Lime, okay I will be real. When I was pregnant with Lime and thought about his first foods, it only made sense that I would make his food too. One of the simplest things I have EVER made. Steam, puree, done, I could make him meals for an entire month in less than two hours including clean up. I did eventually get a nifty baby food cooker from my Mother-in-law who witnessed the process of cooking for him. This baby does EVERYTHING! I was able to make food fresh a few times a week in less than 30 minutes and spend less than jarred baby food. I did get lazy one day and thought I’ll just go get him some food. When I tried to feed him he wanted nothing to do with it. He ended up eating rice cereal because of the nastiness. He is also (or was) a great eater. He is getting back on track with eating everything; the poor guy had a rough time and only wanted foods he knew. My son will eat sushi, any type of veggie, and the “fancy” cheeses. Try to give him a hot dog or a chicken nugget he wants nothing to do with it. I credit that to introducing him to “non-kid” foods early. He was about a year old eating sushi and loved it. (Think more of a veggie roll, or chicken teriyaki)

      Now that we are thinking of Baby Girl eating “real” foods in the coming months I am getting a jump start,  so when she is ready so are we. I already have some sweet potatoes in the freezer, and I am thinking of what seasonings she will like once she has had her taste of different foods. That’s another thing with homemade baby foods. You won’t find any with seasoning in store bought jarred baby foods, they are plain and bland. Even with the benefits of different seasonings, such as Ginger, GREAT for digestion.  And who doesn’t love cinnamon with apples? Or who wants to eat something out of a jar that could be made simply at home?  

      I love that I am able to make healthy flavorful meals for my family and know that I am not loading them up on sodium or things I can’t pronounce even sound out in my head. Yes, I am one of “those” people, the ones that cook mostly healthy fresh meals. In the past three years, I have completely changed my way of cooking. I now make our " six meals" homemade not from a bag or box, and other than veggies and fruits for smoothies, okay Ice cream too ( we all have our weaknesses) I can skip over the frozen section at the grocery store. 

      I am proud to say that the last time I cooked a frozen meal was when I first moved into my house and didn’t have pots or pans.  As I smell my lasagna cooking (smelling amazing) I am so glad that I take the time to do this and I am able to do this.  As the hubs says I take the time to keep him winterized and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

My little lime came.

It all started with a trip to Orlando. When my husband had a chance to take a class there we jumped on it. After a rough year we needed to get away, to escape our lives and small town if you will. While my husband was in class I spent my days at the pool or sleeping in. When my husband was finished for the day, we took in the “sights” went shopping, and ate at some amazing places.  It was a great trip and was just what we needed. We almost fully forgot everything going on back home. I say almost because while we were enjoying the sun, we got the call saying that we had 45 days to move out of our rental because the house had sold.

Once we got back to real life, I was stressed with trying to find a house, in a small town it’s really hard to find a year round rental, everyone does summer rentals and wouldn’t even think about it. I wrote off the extreme tiredness and nauseous feelings as being overly stressed and getting back to the grind. You can imagine my excitement as that “time” came and went, still I didn’t take a test. That wasn’t until two weeks later.

When I took the test I was “super” pregnant, the positive line showed up before the control line did. I knew Lime was a keeper and was satisfied with just one test, my husband made me take another and I didn’t have “enough” in me and barely got any on the stick. Still “super’ positive.

With less than three weeks left to move out, things started falling into place, I was pregnant and we found a place to move to. The next three weeks are a blur, packing, sleeping, working, moving, unpacking, more sleeping, and making myself eat. It all went by really fast and I am grateful it did.

At thirty-four weeks Lime wanted to come and party, I had a nice little talk with him and he stayed in. everything was great for the next two weeks, then on my way to my thirty six week appointment I got into a car accident, I was for sure Lime would come and  be here for Christmas. NOPE! He really listened to our talk and held strong and stayed in for another three weeks! I believe he only came at thirty nine weeks because there were talks of an “eviction” of some sorts. Being a gestational diabetic and knowing I was going to have a big baby the doctors were scared to let me go past forty weeks.

It might also have something to do with the plans we had to get everything perfect, my husband being at work for the night, fat kid hot dogs (smothered in cheese and Jalapenos) but I really think it’s because I changed the sheets to my favorite set. Either way he wanted to party and that’s just what he did.

My sweet boy is going to be TWO this month and I can’t fathom it. I feel like the time has flown by with a blink he has grown from the sweet newborn that I would hold for hours just staring at into the hilarious, sweet, loving, pirate of little boy, sorry correction, big boy. I can’t imagine my life without him and I remember my life before him,  but in reality my life really started the second I heard his cry.

I love my in laws

 I know most of you married people are thinking, “You like your in laws, you get along with them, or you can spend more than five minutes in the same room with them before going crazy?”  The answer is yes to them all. I am a very blessed girl (at 27 I don’t feel I am more than that) I truly enjoy my in laws, my second set of parents if you will.

We always got along, at least I think so, we “dated “(high school sweet hearts) for three years before we got engaged, and four before we got married.  At least for me I always enjoyed their company, as much as a teenage can enjoy an adults company. As I grew so did my love for not only my now husband but for his family. Everyone talks about their “in-laws” as their spouse’s parents and siblings, I include all his family. And I can say honestly we all get along, that I enjoy spending time with them all.

Once my husband joined the Coast Guard my relationship with his parents changed, he made sure of that. It went from “I am your sons girlfriend” to “pre engaged”. His parents and I missed him while he was in basic, I would go over at least once a week for dinner, and twice a week just to hang out. My husband would send his mother and me on shopping trips to get what he needed.

The first trip I took with his parents was to get him from basic training, his father wouldn’t let me by a plane ticket when they were driving up and there was no way my parents would let me drive myself. So it was set, we would drive the NINE hours to New Jersey. It was a great trip and a real bonding experience with just his parents; it also made me realize that even though I loved the hubs, I could marry him without regrets. I knew I was going to have AWESOME in-laws.

Over the next three years, I took more trips with his parents, to visit my other in laws. With all of my newly extended family, I have always been made to feel comfortable. My favorite moment with his extended family is when I “dared” to venture to a family reunion myself while he was gone. His parents were hosting and asked if I could come and help. Loving his family I did. His great uncle (who is a favorite family member) came up to me gave me a great big hug and said “I guess I am getting a real pretty, great niece-in-law. “ He later told me that all the men of the family were talking about how brave I was for showing up without the soon to be hubs. It was that moment that I was “accepted” into the family.

When my husband I and I got married, we had a pastor who taught our youth group going to officiate. Less than a month before the wedding he informed the church he was leaving, moving to another state and would not be in town. I was heartbroken, who would marry us? All of the pastors we grew up with were gone. My husband’s uncle, a non-practicing pastor offered to step in and officiate for us. It wasn’t a question; we knew that this should have been the way it should have been all along.

Five years later his parents and I still get along GREAT! Every year for Thanksgiving they come up the day before and spend thanksgiving with just me, the hubs always ending up having to work it’s almost a tradition now. Then we have a huge Thanksgiving fest when the hubs gets home. We have also spent many holidays together with my parents, all together staying under one roof. (The trick is a bathroom for each couple and an extra just in case.) We have even had celebrations with my brother-in-laws family, all three families in the same house, coming together to celebrate life’s most joyous occasions, with no fighting, or having “the big pink elephant” in the room.

It’s a strange family dynamic, it might not be for everyone but I know that my family (in-laws and extended in-laws) and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I highly suggest marring a person that you can spend time alone with their parents. It makes life so much easier to be able to celebrate all of life’s joys with everyone. 

I don’t want to be afraid.

I don’t want to fear for the lives of my children. It’s taken me this long to be able to even think about writing this. Since I heard about the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre, I haven’t wanted to take my babies anywhere. This is a busy time of year for my family so I have had to have them in public. It scares me.

My husband and I both went to public schools, preschool all way through our senior years, we had some scary moments but nothing came out of any of them, the worst was when experienced was maybe 10 bomb threats on test Fridays. All of them were hoaxes in order to get out of the test the callers didn’t study for. My mom (before I could drive) was always at the school as soon as we were released or if a family friend was closer she was there to get me and her children, I always wondered what scared my mom so much, then I became a parent.

When I heard what happened at Sandy Hook, I cried, held my babies (maybe against Lime’s will, he wanted to play) and I was glued to the TV. Later I talked to friends to make sure they knew what was happening and we talked about homeschooling our children for life. I don’t want to be afraid to send my children to school. A place where they should be safe and secure, a place where they should be able to go and learn, meet new people, and build the skills they need to survive in the world. It shouldn’t be a place where they are targets for a mental ill person.

We as parents, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, soon to be parents, or the maybe will become a parent later in life, need to make mental illness a real thing, not something we sweep under the rug.  We shouldn’t have to worry about someone coming into our children’s classrooms and do the unthinkable. If the man (I know his name, I am trying to forget and I don’t want his name to be out in the world more than it is) had the access to the doctors, medication, or treatments that he so clearly needed, the sentence that started with “20 children and 7 adults” would have ended so differently. Maybe it would have ended with “Had a great bake sale and raised 500 dollars for Make a Wish” a friend of mine said it best, it should NEVER end the way it did.

I know someone is thinking, “That’s great, let’s get mental illness out there, but what about gun laws?” Well to that I say, let’s make it harder to get guns, I don’t think every Jo Shomo should have access to semi-automatic- guns, but by making a few new laws to get a gun, won’t stop someone once they get a thought like that in their head. They will find other ways to get their point across.

 This nation needs to change a lot of things, we need to let go of the angry that everyone seems to be holding on to (even if you don’t realize you are) about the stupid little things, we need to be open and talk about mental illness, we need have better back ground checks for gun purchases and most importantly we need to forget the man’s name and keep those precious children who lost their lives in our hearts.

Now go hug your babies. 

Why I don’t like “you look so pretty”

So in other words, I am ugly.Think about it...Makes sense now right? If I LOOK pretty your saying I'm not. 

      I just realized this when a friend jokingly said “oh what I don’t look pretty all the time.” That statement really got me thinking. I was taught to see the good in every person, their inner beauty. I truly believe that every woman is beautiful in their own way.

      So many women have self-esteem issues because of growing up with these stick then models, the ones who look like a strong wind could blow them over. Now I am nowhere close to being “fat” another word I don’t like. I am a very moderate size; I am petite in stature a whole 5 foot 3 inches. I was also blessed with a small bone structure. I haven’t always been this self-assured. I always felt I was fat, in middle school I started counting calories, in high school I ate maybe once a day. There was a time that my mom made a deal with me; I wasn’t to weigh less than 115 pounds, just seeing that number makes me cringe. Not because it’s so much weight, but because I thought if I weighed 115 pounds I would be huge, that “I would be one of those morbidly obese people.”

      The only time that I have had a healthy-ish, diet, I should say the only time I have ate three meals a day for more than two weeks straight, is when I was pregnant. I had to for my babies, they needed the nutrients I couldn’t help my innocent babies if I didn’t do what I should have been doing for myself.  Even though I was eating, I was still watching what I put into my mouth (until the end and I wanted everything). I tried not to think about the weight I was gaining (25 with my first and 15 with my second) instead I focused on the baby in my belly.

      Food issues still plaque me daily, it’s taken me many years just to know that I am not big in any means. I am still working seeing myself as a pretty woman. This isn’t a "oh tell me how pretty I am I need to hear it", I don’t the hubs lets me know all the time he finds me beautiful and really that’s all that matters. I want all women and girls especially to know that they are pretty no matter what size, shape, or color. We need to build our daughters up to know they are beautiful and strong, that they can and should grow up and have a wonderful sense of who they are and not need to look at fashion magazines and think that because they aren’t stick thin they aren’t good enough. 
So instead of saying your look so pretty or beauiful, why don't you let me know that they ARE. Sometimes a woman's beauty is hiding and other times its shining, why are we the judge of when that is. 

I love gdiapers

 My husband came home the other day and while we were talking about how his day was he told me that he and the guys were talking about diapers. Yes, the same men that put others’ lives before their own and spend months away from their families at time talk about diapers and daddy duty. My husband busted out with “I have bought all the diapers my kids need, we do cloth.” I could not have been prouder.

Rewind, about two years when I told my husband that I wanted to use cloth diapers he looked at me like I had five heads all of which were on fire. It took me four months after Lime was born to finally convince him. It was a money thing with him; spending almost 150 dollars a month is insane! Especially when you can spend 200-300 dollars and not have to buy diapers again (for most even less)! (Not until, they come out with new prints and styles, then they really are needed) I was so excited to finally order my gdiapers sweet bundle and a package of the refills. I actually told my husband it’s what I wanted wait, it’s what I needed for my first mother’s day gift.

      My first reason to love any cloth diaper is I am not throwing money away; parents that use disposables are literally throwing 14-25 cents away with each diaper. The only money I am using with my diapers now is for laundry detergent. Which is MAYBE three dollars every 4 months, what parent using disposables can say that?

      I don’t even want to mention (but I will) the chemicals in the typical disposable diapers. Most of them I can’t pronounce. One of the biggest ones is Dioxins which have been known to cause skin reactions, altered liver function, and cause impairments to the immune system, nervous system, endocrine system and reproductive functions. That’s scary! The scariest part, parents are putting these on their babies! Lime, had a horrible diaper rash his first four months, and we weren’t even using the run of the mill diapers. As soon as we switched to the gdiapers his rash cleared up, a noticeable difference in 24 hours and completely gone in three days. Only to return when he is teething or drinks juice.

      Besides gdiapers being way cuter than normal diapers, you have to ask yourself. What would you rather wear, cotton underpants that breath or some plastic crap that crunches and makes noises every time you move? Enough said? I think so too.

My only con with cloth diapering is that gdiapers are way too cute and even though I do have an adequate number of diapers in my stash, but when they come out with their prints, just like the name says, it’s a printed diaper instead of just a solid color, or their style, which is a matching diaper and shirt or dress for a little girl. They also have separate prints and styles for boys and girls. I NEED those, but it’s hard to convince my husband of the need.

       

Fast forward a year and half later, I am still in love with my gdiapers. Get ready for it; my life has been made EASIER with cloth diapers. No more late night runs which is especially hard when your husband has duty and takes him away for 24 hours. No more worries if the diapers I am putting on my kids going to do serious damage later in life, only an hour or so less sleep at night or one.

      I could go on and on about how gdiapers are a company started with a young couple about to have their first baby, or their amazing truly amazing company, or that even though they making it big, they still are considered a “mom and pop” shop, or that they are making cloth diapering more accessible by having their products in the “big box” stores, or that other gmums are the most helpful cloth diapering mommas ever. I could go on about those but instead I will leave you with gdiapers philosophy Fair Dinkum is an Australian expression that means being genuine and real with everyone you encounter. Which is exactly what they do!