I am not a good enough mom for my son,

      I have been thinking about this for a while. First off let me say that my son is my 1/3 of my world, (the other thirds belong to my Baby Girl and The Hubs.), I have loved him since before I even know I was pregnant and knew that he was in fact my Lime, we have a special connection that no one else will ever be able to experience, He is my little man, and one of my favorite people ever. I am a great mom (yes, again I am that confident) we go on crazy adventures, have special Lime days where he chooses what we do, I take the time to have one on one time with him daily, it might be just 5 minutes but its 5 minutes where he has all my attention. That being said, I don’t like doing boy things.

       My idea of fun isn’t playing cars for the fifth time in a day or watching them go down the race track, I don’t want to chase Lime around the kitchen, into the dining room, to the living room, and around the play area just to do that 10 more times. Some days I feel like if I see another hammer or screw driver I might freak out. I do all of these things along with others. I know that he needs to let his boyness out and boy does he! He is all little boy, okay not all, he is 99.999999% boy, I have the .0000001% that I have taken and turned into a sweet caring little love of a boy.

       I would much rather spend my time with my little Lime-a-kins cooking like we do most nights, or snuggling on the couch reading stories or just talking to each other. My favorite moments with him are when he randomly stops what he is doing comes over to me with open arms and gives me the biggest hug he can physically mange. That sweet moment is soon over when he tackles me and pins me down.

       I am trying to be more of a boy mom, we have always gone out and played but I always made him keep it safe. Now I am letting him climb a little higher while my heart is racing, I am letting him run around and fall down, maybe skin his knees (I am always right there to kiss them better, also disinfect and bandage).  I know that he won’t always be my sweet little Lime, the infant I held for hours and sweetly rocked while he slept. Can you blame me for wanting him to be?

       He needs room to grow into a “big” boy, teenager, and finally into the man that will make his parents proud. I am struggling with that growing part. He is and will always be my baby, just like the book “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch, says I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, As long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.

        I love my son more than a mother could love a son, I swear the moment I saw him on the ultrasound I knew he would have a hold on my heart forever. I promise that I will let him be more “boy” and not be an overbearing overprotecting mommi that I am.  I will NOT however let him forget his southern manners, that sometimes a hug is the best medicine in the world, and that having a caring and giving heart is more important than being the most popular person. 

Lime waving hello world!